Can I kiss my husband or wife while fasting?

Detailed answer

A kiss between husband and wife does not break the fast in itself. A quick, affectionate kiss, such as saying goodbye before work, is fine. But if you know a kiss could lead to arousal that you might not control, it is better to avoid it during the fasting hours.

What the Sunnah says

Aisha said: "The Prophet (peace be upon him) would kiss and embrace while he was fasting, but he had the most control over his desire of all of you" (Bukhari, Muslim). This shows that a kiss is allowed, and also that the condition is self-control.

Fasting means holding back from food, drink and intimate relations during the day. Allah describes the fasting person, in a hadith qudsi, as one who "leaves his food, his drink and his desire for My sake" (Bukhari). Anything that is likely to lead to breaking that restraint should be avoided.

When does it become a problem?

• If it leads to ejaculation: the fast is broken and must be made up, according to most scholars. This is not the same as full intercourse, so there is no kaffarah.
• If it leads to intercourse: the fast is broken and kaffarah is required; see intercourse while fasting.
• Deep kissing: many scholars say that swallowing the other person's saliva breaks the fast, so this kind of kissing is best kept for the night.
• Pre-seminal fluid: see does madhi break the fast?

Who should be more careful?

Scholars advise that people who are easily aroused, such as many younger or newly married couples, should avoid kissing during the day. Someone who is confident of their self-control can give a light kiss without concern. You know yourself best, so be honest with yourself.

Tips

• Keep affection light during the day and save closer intimacy for the night, when it is fully allowed.
• A kind word, a smile or a hug can show love without risk; see can I hug my spouse while fasting?
• If something went further than you intended, do not despair: make up the day if needed and ask Allah's forgiveness.