Can I hug my spouse while fasting?

Detailed answer

Yes. Hugging your husband or wife is allowed while fasting and does not break the fast. Everyday affection between spouses is part of a loving marriage, and Ramadan does not ask you to stop being kind and warm to each other.

What the Sunnah says

Aisha said that the Prophet (peace be upon him) "would kiss and embrace while he was fasting, but he had the most control over his desire of all of you" (Bukhari, Muslim). So an embrace is permitted. The condition, as Aisha pointed out, is self-control.

The fast is broken by eating, drinking, intercourse and deliberate ejaculation, not by touch or a hug. Allah says the fasting person "leaves his food, his drink and his desire" for His sake (Bukhari, a hadith qudsi), so the aim is to stay away from what leads to breaking that restraint.

In practice

• A normal hug when greeting, comforting or welcoming your spouse home is fine.
• Avoid long, intimate closeness during the day if you know it may lead to arousal.
• If a hug leads to ejaculation, the fast is broken and must be made up, but there is no kaffarah unless intercourse took place.
• Pre-seminal fluid (madhi) is a different matter; see does madhi break the fast?

Different people, different limits

Scholars note that people are not all the same. A couple who are easily aroused, for example newly married couples, should be more careful than those who are confident in their self-control. Be honest with yourselves and keep a safe distance where needed.

What if we went too far?

If affection led to intercourse during the day, it is a serious matter that requires a make-up day and kaffarah; see intercourse while fasting. If it only led to arousal without anything else, your fast is still valid.

Tips

• Keep daytime affection light and save intimacy for the night, when it is fully allowed.
• Kind words, help with chores and patience when your spouse is tired are also forms of love that bring reward in Ramadan.